1b. The beginning of now (video)

This first post, the breakdown that started the whole path into our metaphorical Phoenix rising from the ashes, launches the journey from dark to light. But at the end of this post, we are still very much in the dark.

The vulnerability of recording this caught me by surprise. It doesn’t really matter that this was three years ago and that we are today, in so many ways, entirely past the trauma and uncertainty of then. To say these words out loud was to give them a very different place of prominence in my life, and I was taken aback by how very present they made our past feel.

Dr Marry’s response is interesting in so many ways, too. Because he continues with AA to this day, he speaks about all of this much more than I certainly have. His almost impassive hearing of my words indicates to me how much further along the healing journey he likely is than I am. I just didn’t know it until now.

And to clarify one of his final lines, “They still don’t bend!”: Dr Marry is referencing this notion he has that his Irish ear cartilage is far less bendy than my Italian-Swedish-English-Scotish-muddy mix of Europen and Scandinavian ear cartilage is!

I’ve proven him wrong time and again over the years.