Three hundred and thirty six hours is long enough to develop a new rhythm but not long enough to form a new habit. And that means I need to be intentional and present and aware of the clock ticking all while attempting to throw time out the window so I can sink deeply and swim freely into my creative “ouch zone,” as Quinn’s elementary gifted and talented teacher used to say.
In some (often) unconscious way, I have always tried to honor the spirit of animals, vegetables, grains, elements and more. I talk to flowers in my pollinator garden as if we are intimate friends. I encourage the potato plants to thrive, despite the weeds that inevitably crop up around them. I stop to say hello to every bunny in the neighborhood on our daily walks.
“‘Here Comes The Sun.’ The light is showing you the pathway to more glorious journeys for you to encompass, embrace, and encounter, such an amazing opportunity to soul search, and to find the words to where you have come thus far!”
We didn’t just talk about addiction, of course, because these men, and the other woman and I are more than the product of this disease, which steals from every person with whom it comes in contact. But it was so easy to ask questions, to recall a similar experience, to look at this couple, who in many ways are a mirror of us, and see where we had been, where we are and what damage still lingers. Because believe me, no matter how much better it is, no matter how fabulous it is, in fact, there is lingering damage. Scars heal over time, stop being red and raw, but never go away entirely.
When I applied last fall, I didn’t stop to consider the ramifications of being accepted. I forgot to consider how afraid I am of the dark. I thought only of the possibilities. And I didn’t believe I would get accepted, if I am being honest. I mean, why would anyone invest in my writing?
Thanks for joining us on this journey–remember to share these with anyone you think might find value. We believe they aren’t just useful to addicts and spouses/partners of addicts, but to people going through life. We all have to live with vulnerability, manage complex emotions, reflect on our own role and take responsibility for it and everything else.